Communication as a Healer

  I was married to  a handsome man that had humor and words available to him with every thought he had.  I would wish I could respond with the same quickness but that was never my gift.  My observation came about, that his words, although funny, were cutting to the quick of a person's soul.  It then became my job to go behind him and pick up, emotionally, that person.  They looked as tho they had been hit by a truck, when they realize what had been said.  One day I realize I was not helping.  I was not allowing him to understand what he was saying was not funny but very hurtful.  It was soon I after that, I stopped.  He divorced me.  Since then I have realize that I have never been able to understand or be able to verberalize my own needs.  I am aware now of what those needs are.  I am now learning how to express these needs. It is not easy. I choose my words carefully.  I have always felt if I could undersand what the problem is, I can deal with it.  Now however I realize many people do not understand what the true problem is.  Beginning to learn how to express your needs, in a calm way, allows the true need to come to the light.  So many of us let the time pass until frustration takes over and the emotion twists the true problem into something else.